Daily Silly Status

Apparently nothing offends a toddler more than suggesting they might be due for a nap.

So they say that having to much sex can cause memory loss, which is just a little something I seem to remember reading in a Rolling Stone magazine once on page 64 paragraphs 3 through 5 while sitting on a park bench October 14th 2002 at 3:46 p.m

It’s a humbling moment when you realize your dog or cat has actually trained you to do something.

My house isn’t dirty, I just have everything on display.

I`m not lying, I`m just making the story better.

Why is it that whenever I have to turn around in a strange driveway, I feel like they`re gonna come running out with pitchforks and torches?

Choosing A Career Is Like Chosing A Wife From 10 Girls. Even If You Pick The Most Beautiful, Intelligent, Kindest Woman, There`s Still Pain Of Losing The Other 9

I hope to get to the point in my life where I’m not excited about finding change on the ground.

Three words to ruin a woman`s ego. "I can`t tell."

If at first you don’t succeed, look in the trash for the instructions.

At this stage of my life, "Good in Bed" means not snoring or stealing the covers.

Is anyone going to tell America`s funniest videos about YouTube?

When we were kids, we didn`t have Pokemon Go. If we wanted to look for things that weren`t there, we would get stoned like normal people.

When I was a kid “The Server Is Down” meant your waiter was depressed.

Facebook should have an "I`ve seen enough" button.