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Spiders are the only web developers that are happy to find bugs.
It has been brought to my attention that those stick figure decals on vehicles are not "kill" scores, but actually suppose to represent members of the family. I will be removing all my decals to avoid any further confusion.
I`d rather run into the four horsemen of the apocalypse than a group of women out on a "girls` night."
Either my cooking’s improved or my family’s immune systems have strengthened.
In the 1960s, if you said "All my music is in the cloud" it was due to mushrooms; not Apple.
The hardest part about being humble is not telling people how much better I am than they are.
Sometimes, I wonder if the weather app on my phone even looks outside.
My life has a great cast, but I can’t really figure out the plot.
If you could have one super power would you pick flying, invisibility, or falling asleep without questioning every decision you`ve ever made
Kinda like Facebook, I wish I could ‘hide’ people in real life.
am a bomb technician...anytime you see me running. Try keep it up
Do you think all the giraffes sit around and watch Margaret in Nebraska give birth?
Benefits of hooking up with me: You will be hooking up with me. I could go on but I think I made my point.
My bedroom is perfect for a one night stand, but there’s no room for two night stands.
No one should be surprised that so many statuses are about unhappiness and failure. You don’t end up on Facebook by making good life decisions.