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I`ll be thankful when this thankful month is over.
How many divorced guys does it take to change a lightbulb?...........Who cares, they NEVER get the house anyways.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning.
A guy outside the grocery store asked me if I had a few seconds to save the environment. I told him, I feel like it would take longer than that
"My name is Robert and I support apples." -- Bob for apples
It would serve me better if they put shopping carts in the middle of the store where my pride realizes I have too much stuff to carry.
The way I see it, every Friday is Good Friday.
I gave my cat 7up, now it has 16 lives
If anybody out there happens to have my voodoo doll, can u please scratch my balls. I happe to be in a public place at the moment.
Lazy Rule #23 :No Shower Is Needed, If your Not Going Anywhere...
I`d engage you in a battle of wits, but I`m afraid you`re unarmed.
What happens in Vegas stays on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, Vine, and medical records.
2015 and I still can`t believe it`s not butter!
I entered what I ate for lunch into my calorie counting app and it uninstalled itself.
There`s no way that whatever mothballs prevent is worse than the smell of mothballs.