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Pizza is my favorite winter activity
You never know what you are missing,until you clean your room.
Me: Dad, going to the 50cents concert. Dad: Here`s a dollar, take your sister with you.
a friend will calm you down when you`re angry a best friend will run beside you with a baseball bat shouting, "somebody`s gonna get it!"
I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.
Did I already do my deja vu joke?
That sounds fried. I`ll take it.
Whenever my wife sings I have to go outside. Not to get away from her, but to prove to my neighbors I`m not beating her.
How many Snickers are an acceptable meal replacement?
I liked your facebook update, only so I can unlike it.
The guy behind me honked a nanosecond after the light turned green. So I put on my flashers and here I sit, tweeting about the whole thing
If women ran the world we wouldn’t have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
Don`t just be one of those people who stares at their phone or computer twelve hours a day. It`s important to also watch some TV.
I wonder if New York people find it weird to watch their own city being destroyed in Hollywood movies so many times..!!
Is your drama going to have an intermission soon? I need to pee.