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At least mosquitos are attracted to me.
Doing it wrong is the only thing I do right.
The sooner you fall behind the more time you´ll have to catch up.
If you are naughty go to your room, if you wanna be naughty go to mine :)
Marriage is for quitters
The parent-teacher conference is going great. They have no idea I’m not the teacher.
I would rather have a bad day of fishing then a good day of work.
Turns out I`m ambidextrous at yet another sport! And I even scored a bingo twice. Left-handed!
It’s almost 2015, I expect a toaster that pops the bread up in a less terrifying way.
FYI: You can`t beat rock-paper-scissors with yourself in the mirror.
If someone says you`re not a mermaid, don`t talk to them. You don`t need that kind of negativity in your life.
It`s a small world, but I wouldn`t want to paint it.
I was hooked on auctions after only going once... going twice
I`m at that "licking peanutbutter off a spoon" time to go grocery shopping point....
I bet the women who only post about sex are probably some of the nicest men you’ll ever meet in person.