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My resolution last year was to learn Spanish, and that only lasted about dos weekos.
Is it just me or when you turn off the computer by holding down the power button, it feels like I’m choking it to death.
The length of your "About me" section on Facebook is directly proportional to how annoying you are in real life.
If there`s one thing I`ve learned hiking, it`s the early bird gets the face full of spider webs
You are so selfish! You´re going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night!
Calling someone "stupid" is mean. Unless they actually are. Then it`s just a diagnosis.
I`m not a mechanic so I don`t know why, but my car seems to make a screaming noise whenever I run over people.
"There`s strength in numbers" I whisper to my 9th slice of pizza.
Sometime when I`m home alone I like to fill my bathtub with spaghetti and pretend I`m a meatball.!
I just want you to be happy…and maybe a little bit naked.
Don’t break anyone’s heart; they only have one. Break they’re bones. They have over 200 of them.
You might call it lazy ... I call it selective participation.
Love means never having to say you’re sorry until you`ve thought up a good excuse.
Screw you, little sticker on fruit!
Life is short, Smile while you still have teeth.