Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
10 years from now: “Dad, how did you meet mom? Well, your mom had the hottest profile pic…so I had to friend request that.”
When listening to skinny girls talk about losing weight it`s perfectly reasonable to battle cry then karate chop their tiny stomach`s.
I wonder how many people die each year from lifeguards running in slow motion?
Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me, it means a lot.
Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave your house...
Why do we say "A word to the wise" when it`s the stupid ones who need it?
I can already tell this is going to be one of those days where I am not rich and famous.
It`s scientifically proven the more you shut up then the less likely I am to punch you in the face.
Just noticed there`s no comma in "Bed Bath & Beyond" and honestly, a bed bath would solve a lot of my problems.
3 words, 8 letters, easy to say, hard to prove... ..."I`m a zebra."
If I ever get off this couch, I’ll be unstoppable.
Shout out to hotel maids changing sheets on February 15th.
Adding "and sh!t" at the end of a sentence can make anything sound thug. Example: I was playing with my bubbles and sh!t.
I do this thing called "Whatever The F*ck I Want".
Benefits of dating me: 1. You`re the sane one.