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I only change the kitty litter like once every two weeks but in my defense I don`t have a cat
I`m now fit to make my regular annual resolution. The accomplishment is the problem
Leaving the house would be so much cooler if someone would yell “Aaaaand Action!” as I walk out the door.
When people tell me "You`re gonna regret that in the morning"...I sleep in till noon, because I`m a problem solver.
It`s almost Valentines Day and I still don`t know what to get myself yet.
One day, people are gonna write songs about the nap I`m about to take.
Don`t get excited girls. That bulge in my pants is just emergency Oreos.
When I go through an automated car wash I close my eyes, because it`s easier to pretend I`m in a car that way.
Next time a guy says he wants to fight you, just say "not in that outfit!" and roller skate away
Can you find the the mistake? 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10. Click Funny if you did..
bitches want what they cant have..or thats what I keep telling myself
Pringles should make their containers like a Push Up Pop.
You say you want to bring me back to reality. You’re assuming I’ve been there before.
Remember when you were a kid and all you would use the computer for was paint and space pinball?
Black holes must be where God divided by zero.