Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I can`t tell them apart, was that Milli or Vanilli doing the sign language at Madela`s funeral?
When I was little we didn`t have emojis. We had to put smiley face stickers on handwritten letters like a bunch of savages.
Hating everything saves countless hours of decision making.
Missed Connection: You were standing at the RedBox. I was in my car self pleasuring. I accidentally honked like 8 times.
I`d offer moral support, but I have questionable morals.
Childless people wondering what it`s like to have some kiddos? Make a lovely healthy breakfast. Take it and throw it all over the floor.
If a girl bangs ten dudes in a year she is a slut. If a guy done he`s gay. Definitely gay.
Most problems can be solved with nudity.
Fun game: Borrow some tools from your neighbor and return them one by one covered in blood until they move.
Funny how people get all angry when you break something of theirs that they don`t ever use. Like turn signals with a baseball bat.
I´m not cheap, but I am on special this weekend. ;)
At times I wish I had a clone, but then I realize, I could never live with that a$$hole.
Shout out to all the girls who don`t have to dress half naked to get a man`s attention. Stay classy! And the rest of you come with me.
I could spend my day outside, but I`m sure there`s plenty of porn that needs to be rated.
Fun Fact: Over 97.8% of men have already made mistakes this year that a woman will remind him about for the rest of his days.