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I advise you...don`t mess with me, I know karate, kung fu,judo, tae kwon do, jujitsu, and 28 other dangerous words.
Don`t cry because it`s over. Smile because your fingerprints aren`t in the database.
That awkward moment when you finally realize what your rice krispies are saying to you.
Facebook has suggested that I POKE you.
How are poor people so good at finding money for tattoos?
Don`t you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do.
I could of sworn my pillow`s a hairdreeser...coz I always wake up with the craziest hairstyles!! :D
The nice thing about being single is when you`re setting the silverware, it doesn`t matter which side you put the remote on.
So, is Dora 18 yet, or what? Asking for a friend.
Judging from my last 5 relationships I am convinced my heart is trying to kill me
I`ll bet I`m the only one in this grocery store with "sh!t for tacos" on my shopping list.
It`s normally a combination of things that cause bad decisions. The tequila, lime, salt combination is the most common.
I cannot turn water into wine but, I can turn ice cream into breakfast so that’s pretty neat.
Sometimes the fact that bacon exists is enough.
When people introduce themselves to me for the first time, I tell them, "Yes, we`ve met before." So they feel awkward trying to remember me