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If I won the lottery, I could make a whole lotta people miserable
Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can´t help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.
Spread happiness by smiling at a stranger today...or flash them your boobs. Strangers love boobs!
The good thing about Facebook is if someone gets on your nerves enough, you can make them cease to exist in your world and you don`t even have to hide a body.
It`s a good thing farting isn`t as contagious as yawning.
I bet now a lot of doctors are going to be reluctant to respond to “Is there a doctor on the plane?”
It`s been scientifically proven that originally there were only five fruit cakes ever made!
If all men are created equal then why are there midgets?
"I get knocked down, but I get up again, You`re never gonna keep me down" ~Bowling pins
Balloons are so weird... "happy birthday, here`s a plastic sack of my breath"
You know who your true friends are when they call you at 3AM just to tell you they love you and that their drunk...
thinks we should all jump out of our chairs and do the 5 second happy dance! READY! GO!
If I`m guilty of anything it`s loving you too much. Oh and indecent exposure...I suppose trespassing too.
Thinks that some of you make impulsive, poor thought out decisions. We should totally hang out more!!!
Calling out your ex`s name during sex is a nice way to show your current lover that you won`t forget them after you break up.