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It’s a good thing not everyone has a smartphone. Someone has to honk when the light turns green.
Saw a midget go into a store while wearing a KKK outfit and thought... That`s a little racist.
My greatest fear is that I will accidentally use the status update bar as the search bar on my browser.
Anything is possible when you have no clue what you`re talking about
If you ever question yourself, your life choices, your sanity...just watch an episode of Hoarders and you`ll be all good.
Recipes sound good until you realize that you don`t have $846 worth of spices in your house.
That`s a horrible idea ... What time?
It has been scientifically proven that any woman can be satisfied with only 3 1/2 inches — and it doesn’t matter if it is Visa or MasterCard
whenever i`m bored I just expect at any moment for the Koolaid man to break through my wall and take me on a deliciously refreshing adventure!
I hope I die alone. I mean, you`d have to be a pretty big jerk to hope others die with you.
I`ve seen more pins in the last few days then stone cold steve austin on groundhog day..
If the cigarette tax is meant to discourage smoking, is the income tax meant to discourage working?
I`m at the age where an "all-nighter" just means I didn`t have to get up to pee.
I hate it when TV shows say they contain “adult situations” but then don’t show anyone going to work, paying their bills or cleaning up their kid’s vomit.
Saw a brand new Prius totaled on my way home from work. Still had the window sticker. That would suck... Not to crash, but to drive a Prius.