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So I´ve narrowed it down and I´m either gonna start a motorcycle gang or take a nap.
Don`t rush me, I`m waiting until the last minute.
Still not 100% clear on whether French Montana is a person or a steakhouse special.
Just finished my first book yesterday. 450 pages. Man, that was a lot of coloring...
It takes a lot of courage for a man to admit his wife is wrong...
Help me Obi Won Bacardi, I`m sobering up.
My grandpa has Alzheimer`s, so I just keep telling him he owes me twenty bucks.
I won $20 by not playing the lottery last night!
I forgot to post this earlier
Four words that I never want to hear: There is no food
Today feels like a stay in bed, pull the blankets over your head, and pretend you`re on an adventure in a kangaroo`s pouch type of day
Spent 40 minutes on the treadmill this morning. Next time I might turn it on.
There`s no way that whatever mothballs prevent is worse than the smell of mothballs.
What do I look for in a girl? Well she has to be hot. And well-rounded. And cheesy. Extra guac. Wait, wrong list, this is my Chipotle order.
"Don`t let a hot date turn into a due date."--my father`s actual sex talk with me when I was 13.