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You say `pervert with a telescope` ... I say `biological astronomer`.
first show me the benefits and then I`ll decide if we can be friends.
My New Year`s resolution for 2014 is to do something about my procrastination.
Things to do today.....pet all the spiders in my house at least twice with my shoe.
I can already tell it`s going to be another one of those mornings where I`m not rich and famous.
My husband woke up this morning with a HUGE smile on his face. I love Sharpie markers.
Am I the only one who would like to see Punxsutawney Phil bite off the finger of the person that wakes him up every Groundhog Day.
If I had known "cuties" were little oranges when my wife asked me to "bring a few home," I could have avoided these awkward introductions.
Always check the height of nearby ceiling fans before giving a toddler a ride on your shoulders... * How I learned this rule is not important.
You’re lucky that I’m so terrified of prison.
My motto is "Never say never." Which makes it difficult to tell people my motto...
Try trick or treating in spandex... I`ve seen how much it can hold.
As far as Im concerned, you are not my concern.
at my age, the best part of waking up is the fact that I did wake up
You must be a parking ticket or something for the word FINE is written all over you.