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Why is it called "Alien vs Predator"? Isn`t predator an alien too? They should`ve just called it "Some Aliens"
If you think you aren`t creative, buy a gym membership and see how many excuses you find not to use it.
That disappointing moment when you pull up to work and it`s not fully engulfed in fire.
When nobody`s home, I tighten the top to every jar and bottle in the house.
The only instant messaging I enjoy is with my middle finger.
Haters gunna hate,potatoes gunna patate!!
If you want to have fun with your kids, tell them the teacher called, then ask if there is something they need to tell you.
That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything and all you can think is "act natural, you`re innocent".
Mom in poetic mood ....Asked me to express emptiness .... I showed her my wallet ........ n m cheek still burns .... :-p :-p
If you trip and are about to fall on the ground yell "He`s got a gun!" and then you`ll look like a cool hero.
Hard liquor because I don`t don`t have time or patience to sit around drinking 9 bottles of wine every day
Current relationship status: Leaving pizza and beer in the bushes, to lure in stalkers.
"Oh!Look The Smurfs Grew Up!"Grandma those are Avatars." -_-
I wake up everyday planning to be productive. Then a voice in my head says, " hahaa, good one!" Then we laugh and laugh and take a nap.
My horoscope says I will meet the woman of my dreams today. Not sure how my wife will take the news but I`m pretty damn excited.