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I got on-line to check the weather...That was 12 years ago.
Hard butter is the devil.
Apparently, I did not use enough a$$hole repellent today
Coffee: fueling you for a job you can`t stand to support a life you never wanted. Tastes good though...
Just had workplace violence training. It`s like HR doesn`t even care about the first rule of fight club.
The trick to falling asleep is putting your phone down. Unfortunately, that`s not a risk I`m willing to take.
Imagine taking your girlfriend to your friends house for the 1st time, and her phone automatically connects to his password protected wifi.
You know you`re fat when you run out of breath eating.
Why,does facebook want to make the likes one gets on their status like a story,like:peter and 500 others like this,click and see james and 499 others like this............
If pi is 3.14, then I think .99 is a good deal for 2 doughnuts.
Nothing f*cks up your Friday like realizing that it`s only Tuesday
I`d like to thank Tetris for making me really good at loading my dishwasher.
If you’re a millionaire and you don’t have trampoline floors or a giant slide that goes from your bed to an olympic sized indoor pool then you should just give me all of your money because you’re wasting it
I used to eat natural food, until I heard people were dying of natural causes
Remind me why I work 40 hours a week to be this poor?