Daily Silly Status

I just lifted a couch to retrieve a Skittle that fell underneath it, so I get you Moms that lift cars to rescue children, I get you.

Nothing f*cks up your Friday like realizing that it’s only Thursday.

I can`t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.

I wish they made barstools with seat belts and dual side airbags.

You are the reason why I bite the heads off teddy grams.

Having a bit of a lazy day! I`m sitting in my underwear looking for better jobs online ... My boss doesn`t look amused.

I`m in big trouble if my coworkers find out I don`t really have Tourette`s.

I`m all for change as long as it doesn`t directly affect my routine.

Tarantulas make great pets because when they die, rather than grieving you’ll feel an almost overwhelming sense of relief.

Im afraid to go outside or even sit next to a window during an lightening storm. Im afraid that I`ll get zapped! I`m scared that God is gonna get me!!!

Retirement plans compared .. If you had purchased $1000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00. With Enron, you would have $16.50 left of the original $1000. With WorldCom, you would have less than $5.00 left. If you had purchased $1000.00 of Delta Air Lines stock you would have $49.00 left. If you had purchased United Airlines, you would have nothing left. But, if you had purchased $1000.00 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for recycl

Facebook should have a limit on times you can update your relationship status, after 3 it should default to "unstable".

What ? Who ? Exactly my point. Now move along and go read something else. Nosey !!

I`m 99% sure you think I`m weird. And I`m 100% sure I don`t care.

I wonder if I could get a job as a babysitter if I referenced my Facebook group admin experience.