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I love tan lines... it`s like God came down and high-lighted all the good parts... ;-)
I`m one more weekend on the couch away from being a throw pillow.
Another beautiful morning I wish I was sleeping through.
Because of tanning beds, 1000 years from now archaeologists will think we used to fry people as punishment.
Timeouts just give children a quiet place to plot your murder.
I sometimes ask myself, "What would Jesus do?", and then I think, Jesus wouldn`t be caught up in this sh*t.
People – the most gentle, loving, kind, sympathetic, peaceful and caring creatures in the world. Especially when they need something from you.
Every load of laundry that I wash, dry, fold, and put away makes nudists seem less crazy.
I hate when people call me and ask "WHO IS THIS?"
I saw something that reminded me of you.. so I flushed the toilet and washed my hands(:
It´s Friday!! yea! Oh sorry, I was just practicing.
Sorry I said "What is it?" when you showed me your baby.
My 17yo pretends he doesn`t understand how the washer works when I ask him to do the laundry Congrats, you`re finally a man
When life gives you lemons....throw them back and yell, "I wanted cookies!"
Key to a Happy Life: Get a job where people ask, “You actually get paid for doing this?”