Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If I go sleep at 6 in the morning, does it mean I go to sleep early or late?
When they say " drink responsibly ", what they really mean is "don`t f***in spill it!"
If you see me drinking coffee from a to-go cup in public after 3 pm, that coffee is booze in disguise.
Nobody wants to know your diet. So shut up, eat your lettuce and be sad.
If I cover my phone at work with Preparation H, would it filter out the `pains in the butts` from calling?
Neat, your girlfriend is made out of the same stuff as your air guitar!
Every cigarette you smoke takes 5 minutes off your student loan debt.
There is no such thing as failure. There are only results.
My "check engine" light came on while driving to work this morning. I looked and the engine is still there...silly light.
The wifi going down on me is the most action I`m going to get tonight.
I just got a paper cut opening a box of Pop Tarts. There will be no more fancy breakfasts around here.
Okay, I am getting really irritated. This is the 5th ATM I`ve been to today that`s had "insufficient funds".
Rest area restrooms are weird. The guy in stall next to me has four feet.
I`ve honestly never been more disappointed in life than when I found out that the Miami Dolphin football team was made up entirely of people
Facebook Proves: That if Family had the Option... they`d Delete ya.