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I`m amazed at how much better my life has been since the iOS 7 update. I bet it would be even better if I owned an iPhone.
My wife said she wanted to feel special. So I gave her a helmet and some crayons. Perhaps I misunderstood her?
i hate not being able to correct the typo i just made in my previous statues update......DAMN IT! I JUST DID IT AGAIN!
I think that there are two things that we can all agree on: Boobs.
Don´t wait for the perfect moment. Take the moment and make it perfect.
I can explain it to you, but I can’t understand it for you.
Do you think the dude that invented the breathalyzer has any friends left?
It`s damn funny when a wife think`s she`s punishing her husband by not talking to him for days..
"I want to be cuddled, but I want to be alone. Being crazy is hard." - WOMEN
If a Jehovah`s Witness dies and goes to heaven does God hide behind the Pearly Gates and pretend he`s not home?
Seriousley.. The cuntestents in the 2013 speling beee contast hafe too now no the meening of the werd thay hafe been axed too spell. I coud rock that contast so eesy :))))) eg. The meening of "Easy". Anser: a kids oven
Cops are allowed to tell women they have the right to remain silent, but when I do it I wind up with a fork in my leg.
This movie has "adult content"? So, they`re gonna complain about back pains and setting up a 401k?
I`m sorry. . . I didn`t mean to stare. . . it`s just that I have never seen stupid of this magnitude up close before
Please don`t come to my garage sale if you`ve ever let me borrow something.