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"Love is all we need."-Said a wise man 40 years ago. He obviously has never had a computer
I`ve tried several times, but I can`t pet a cat without plotting world domination.
This salad is delicious, probably because it`s a donut.
Was sitting, doing nothing. Then I realized I could be sitting and doing nothing on Facebook. So here I am.
I can’t believe it’s 2012 and there is still no fold button on my dryer.
The worst thing about rich people is I`m not one of them.
My sleep number is 100 proof.
that strange moment when you get in the van and theres no candy...-Drew Balthaser
Improve your memory by doing unforgettable things.
Roses are red, violets are blue, the boss snuck out early, so I left too.
"American Pie" ruined it for any kid that actually does have an amazing story from band camp.
The moment when someone says a word and everyone laughs, including you and then someone goes, "Do you know what that means?" and you go "No, not really."
I`m pretty sure the phrase "sleep tight" originated in prison...
Its Friday ... my body is in for a much-needed drinking session
My boss hates it when I shorten his name to D!ck, Especially since his name is Steve.