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Oh and BTW,,, Why haven`t Pig Pen`s parents been visited by child services yet?
I’d like to see the dollar store get a liquor license.
What if animals all speak a universal language, and we’re the odd ones out???
I think 90% of the software on my computer doesn`t do anything except send me notices that there`s a new version of itself.
Sleep is for the people without access to Internet.
My hand has never pumped so hard for a little squirt. Stupid empty soap bottle.
Don`t, under any circumstance, believe I`ll return your Tupperware.
Boobs are like the Sun. You can stare at them directly just for a few seconds, but if you put on sunglasses, you can stare as much as you want!
Sometimes I just go on Facebook to see who has been dumped and who is pregnant.
Today feels like a stay in bed, pull the blankets over your head, and pretend you`re on an adventure in a kangaroo`s pouch type of day
God: Is there anything else you need Adam? Adam: yes I want a Sandwich! God: Ok let`s create eve.
Just saw two homeless guys hitting each other with a piece of cardboard................PILLOW FIGHT!!!!!!
Sleep is like a time machine to breakfast.
It`s weird how many people at my office are named "Hey."
My butt decided to go big instead of go home.