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"Oh Sh!t, Was That Today?" my autobiography
I`m only a morning person on December 25th
I had 3 happy meals today and none of them worked.
I tried yoga once, but we called it Twister
Reverse Psychology: DO not STALK MY FB PAGE. YOU ARE not OBSESSED WITH ME...
My boss is having a colonoscopy today. I sure hope they find his head.
Dating someone based only on looks is so shallow. Consider other things, like, do they have a lot of money.
Love going into a crowded area and yelling, "Hey stupid!!" and seeing how many people turn around.
is in his own little world but it´s okay they know me here.
So if your invited to someone`s 4th marriage is it wrong to give them a gift certificate to a good divorce attorney?
When is National Slap a Co-worker Day? ... Please say tomorrow
Apparently 50% of people prefer pizza to sex. What is wrong with people? Have they never had pizza?
I`m broker than the Tooth Fairy in a house full of Meth addicts.
I once met a guy who was addicted to huffing brake fluid. He said he could stop any time.
It`s acceptable for someone to eat cereal for breakfast, lunch, and dinner as long as they still go to the gym, right? I`m asking for a friend...