Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Nothing is as scary as logging into Facebook and seeing someone you were secretly with last night has uploaded a new album.
If someone says you used too much butter or cheese on something, stop talking to them. You don`t need that kind of negativity
I wanna be skinny but I also want to have pizza for breakfast lunch and dinner, you feel me?
Every year new words are added onto the dictionary, yet no new positions are added to the karma sutra.
I`m looking for a girlfriend that likes me for my money, but is really bad at math...
Aren`t we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know...The birth of Santa
Caterpillars have the ideal life. They eat a lot and then sleep for a while and wake up beautiful.
I commend any woman for going into labor outside a hospital setting. If I have to poop anywhere besides my own bathroom I go into panic mode
We have GPS that can navigate you across the country. Why can`t someone invent a device that can remind you why you went into a room?
All my friends are getting married and having kids or getting really good at video games.
I thought there`d be more sex during my sexual prime.
The only toys I was allowed to play with in the tub were the dirty dishes.
If you slept with my husband I`d be like "OMG how much do I owe you?"
Drinking Tip: Never buy the first round cause that`s when people care what they`re drinking!
I`m Outdoorsy, as in I like to get drunk and pass out in the yard....