Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Hi, welcome to adulthood! You`ll be constantly tired except for right before you need to go to sleep.
Some marriages end up fine, the others last forever.
I may be crazy, but crazy is better than stupid.
I`m on a pepperoni pizza cleanse.
Alcohol. Because who really wants to remember last night?
I`d like to be poor for a day, because being poor everyday gets to be real annoying after awhile.
The "I got your nose" game is fun to play with kids, but try it on the pharmacist at Target & she`ll call security.
If someone asks for advice, just tell em to follow their heart. No idea what that sh!t means but at least they`re not talking to you anymore.
Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave your house.
I hope this snowstorm doesn`t impact my schedule of aimlessly wasting my day online.....
Instead of sending people to jail, we should just make them eat the stringy things off bananas..
Please don`t mistake my personality for flirting. Just because I`m awesome doesn`t mean I like you.
Remember, time is more powerful than You!!! One tree makes a million matchsticks......But when the time comes........Only 1 match stick is needed to burn a million trees......
The toughest part of a lesbian relationship is deciding who gets to be the one who`s always right.
The waitress asked if I was done with that, I said yes but I`m married to it.