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I shouldn`t play with Legos!? It says "Ages 7 & Up". 30 is higher than 7. Instead of calling me immature, you need to go take a math class.
I drink to make other people interesting.
Feeling bored? Go to a clothing store and put "one size fits all" stickers on the bras.
Never take advice from me, you`ll only end up drunk......
Ever wonder why divorces are expensive? Because they are worth it!
Sorry, everyone, it looks like my Facebook account was hacked by tequila last night...
Dodgeball, but with random people who don`t know that they are playing..............
I ran into a dwarfs car this morning and he come up to me and said "I`m not happy!" And I said we`ll which one are you then
If karma doesn`t hit you, I gladly will.
High-five a veteran today.
I have completely mastered the right way to do everything wrong.
I told everybody at work that I`ve got 18 cats just to make sure none of them ever want to come over for anything.
No one has ever been in an empty room.
I hate that little line of dirt that I can never get into the dust pan.