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I got all my Christmas shopping done. Hope everyone likes bunny ears, ornamental grass, and discounted peeps.
I hear the Pink Panther song when I sneak down the hall for a midnight snack..
roses are red , violets are blue , I got five fingers and the 3rd one for you ;)
Never wake a sleeping woman. Because then she´ll be awake.
My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We`ll see about that.
Have you ever partied so hard that you feel like you may have damaged your DNA?
Well, THAT Jehovah`s Witness isn`t going to forget anytime soon what they witnessed when I answered the door.
If you ever want to know what you look like to the world, don’t look in a mirror, have a child draw you.
If a worker gets fired & banned from the Lego company, have they been "blocked"?
I was only 6 numbers away from winning the powerball.
Watch out! It’s quite possible some of my best mistakes haven’t been made yet.
More people should be at a loss for words.
You never know how dirty a song’s lyrics are…until you hear a child sing them.
This cold weather makes me half the man I used to be.
To be clever can be difficult without caffiene.