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United States is where moms get a day and shark get a whole week.
The only government agency that listens to you is the NSA.
if you hold a dinner fork really close to your eyes, you can pretend that they`re in jail
I hate it when I mentally undress a woman and my OCD kicks in and I start folding her clothes.
Women come in two types: batsiht crazy and hot enough to ignore the batsiht crazy…
Sorry I liked your status, I was cleaning my phone.
I dreamed about you last night, and so you know; Shame on you!!
A show called the view shouldn`t hurt your eyes
Today I recently discovered how to make my p@nis 12"...I just fold that b!tch in half.
I`m the type of person who goes out to a restaurant and orders a veggie burger with cheese and bacon on it.
I eat my Chinese food just like any other American, with chopsticks, one grain of rice at a time.
"Iyam A. Wii Todd" <-- Bet you can say that name out loud, in a crowded place, and really fast!
Going to Target. See you in about two hundred bucks...
My version of Heaven would be filled with all the things I`d probably go to hell for.
I have noticed that everyone who is for abortion, has already been born.