Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Do you guys dance in the shower too? This morning I did the robot! (I short circuited and stared at the wall for 40 minutes, broken)
Best pickup line : wanna get pizza?
I hate it when my cat leaves a dead Smart Car on my doorstep.
The worst thing about parallel parking is witnesses...
Safe words are for quitters.
I’ve been searching for my stolen bed. And I won’t rest until I find it.
I used to think i was good at multi-tasking. Turns out its just my multiple personalities doing one task at a time.
No one`s going to do it for you. It`s up to you, to make naps a priority in your life.
If a tree falls on your Ex in the woods, and no one hears it, still get rid of the chainsaw just in case.
Deep down, we`re all that one lady in 7-11 with her bathrobe on.
Why does it have to be bacon OR sausage?
Don’t you hate it when spiders bite you and you get like zero superpowers?
The fastest way to being happy is to make other people happy. You go first.
Thanks to the words “dude”, “bro”, and “man”, I haven’t said my best friends name in 10 years.
I`m getting really irritated. This is the tenth ATM I`ve been to in the last week that`s had "insufficient funds".