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I`m never wrong. One time, I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken.
Do you think retailers in Colorado have seen an increase in the sales of Easy Bake ovens and Brownie mix?
My business card is just a label I peeled off a beer bottle.
Do u ever have the urge to tell someone to shut up even when they arent talking?
Good morning to some...Hello to others...And f*uck you to the rest!!
Just picked the remote up off the floor with my foot while laying on the sofa so I guess today is leg day.
I don`t quite get women who have like 15 bridesmaids. I don`t even like 15 people altogether in my life.
For those of you who know nothing about pleasing a woman... the G spot is located at the end of the word "shopping".....js
Thanks for posting another selfie. I completely forgot what you looked like 24 hours ago.
I sure do feel a whole lot more attractive at WalMart than I do at the gym.
More people should be at a loss for words.
I don’t just sing in the shower... I perform.
When you send food back to the kitchen, you`re basically saying, "Can you have the chef rub his genitals on this please."
Life would be perfect if: Mondays were fun, junk food was healthy, drama didn’t exist, and goodbyes were only until tomorrow.
Sometimes when you first meet someone you just know you want to spend the rest of your life ... Avoiding them