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Women are always complaining that men are messy by leaving clothes layin around…..That’s because women take up all the closets
facebook cuz am too old to have imaginery friends
I love it when I Google something I should know the answer to and find out 308 people are just as dumb as I am.
Crazy? ... My therapist does say I should quit talking to myself.
I wonder if people without dogs actually pick food off the floor?
My wife said I can definitely have a man cave, if that`s what I want to start calling the hall closet.
You should always love a woman for her personality. We have so many to choose from.
I don`t think I get enough credit for the fact that I do all of this unmedicated.
I eat tacos over a tortilla so that way when stuff falls out Boom another taco.
I do what I want, when I want, where I want. If my wife says it`s okay.
In the spirit of spring cleaning and Easter, I`m keeping the dust bunnies as decorations.
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
ooooh boy, Mother`s Day hangovers...always the worst huh?!
The plural of beer is beer, which is very convenient when you are explaining to your wife why you were late coming home from work.
Mirror mirror on the wall, I am sexy; screw you all.