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If there`s one thing I`ve learned hiking, it`s the early bird gets the face full of spider webs
A married man has 2 options in an argument...he can be right or he can be happy
Save time. See it my way.
I have a bad habit of laughing at inappropriate moments.
I`m having a problem in Call Of Duty, I go to the menu and... ok by now the girls have stopped reading this, anyone know any good porn sites?
A person soon learns how little they know when a child begins to ask questions.
Possible Fact: White guys with corn rows make dangerous zombies, cuz you can`t possibly run away while laughing that hard at the same time.
The coolest tourist attraction in the world is the Sistine Chapel, because it`s full of ceiling fans.
I started studying Tai Chi, so I wouldn`t recommend getting in a slow-motion fight with me...
Why did the Fresh Prince have to take a cab anyways? How sh!tty was that family that no one would pick him up from the airport?
The easiest way to escape a conversation is to interrupt the other person and say "this conversation is going great" every few seconds
I don’t trust public opinion polls because they don’t take into consideration the fact that the public is made up of mostly idiots.
I hate people who take drugs ... Customs for example.
Why be difficult, when with a bit of effort, you can be totally impossible!
The problem with reality is that there’s no background music, so you never really know whether something mysterious, evil or adventurous is about to happen.