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Why are you showing me pictures of your kid if you have a dog?
I don`t have the blood alcohol level to deal with you
You think you are too small to make a difference? then you have never spent a single night with a mosquito.
Oops is farting in the elevator and thinking it would be silent.
!f yhu T@k yk d!$, then dont talk to me.
The only real difference between my 20s and my 30s is that now I make all my bad decisions before midnight.
If at first you don´t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
"You CAN even."- white girl life coach
I`m not fat. My stomach is in 3D
Based on commercials, every single car has won car of the year.
The dollar store needs to go ahead and open up a few gas stations.
At this point Washington DC is basically just an elaborate promotional stunt for Grand Theft Auto V.
I checked into a hotel this weekend. I told the girl I hoped the porn channel was disabled. She said "No, its just regular porn, you sicko"
Taco Tuesday sends a terrible message to our nation`s children. They need to know that tacos are always an option no matter what day it is.
Its Friday ... my body is in for a much-needed drinking session