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Of course I talk to myself. I need to have an intelligent conversation every now and then.
Have you ever been so hungry you accidentally called someone sandwich?
Coffee : Starter fluid for the morning impaired.
I only seem to remember I want to lose weight after eating 6 cookies.
I feel like landlords who don’t allow dogs but DO allow children, don’t know very much about children.
There are two reasons I would never drink toilet water. Number 1 and number 2.
No way I’m the only one who crosses their fingers, closes their eyes & holds their breath when checking their account balance.
hmmmm...halo or horns today??
it`s a fact that flies on screens are not afraid of cursors
Hope you get down and funky on this the day of your birth!!
I am really glad the shutdown is over. I`ll tell you something, it was very lonely being the only nonessential employee who was working.
Don’t you hate when the person you’re Facebook-stalking never updates anything.
Girls here`s an idea, instead of spending all that money on makeup. Just buy your guy a bottle of Jack Daniels.
A sure cure for sea-sickness is to sit under a tree.
Smelling another person should be a choice.