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If you live by the sword, I guess that is pretty cool. I live by some trees and shit.
My face is a 4, my personality is a 6, so basically, I`m a 10.
I hate it when 18 wheelers blow their horns while Im driving, that sh*t wakes me up!
Turning on your lights and siren after you lose a drag race is just poor sportsmanship.
I guess not everyone at this grocery store is as comfortable with my nudity as I am. ;)
Why do we offer "a word to the wise" when it`s the stupid ones that need the advice?
If all men are created equal then why are there midgets?
I get so tired of the same old BS...can´t I get a little BS variety?
I don`t know about you....but I have thought about running away from home way more as an adult than I ever did as a kid.
I’m not a sore loser ... thanks to Vicodin.
Two can play that game...` -people who dont understand that`s how games usually work
A homeless man told me he hadn`t had a bite in weeks, so I bit him.
Going to make pizza for dinner!! Ingredients Required: Phone, Menu & Credit Card.. Ohhh I can smell it cooking already!! ;)
Million dollar idea: A snooze button that lets you sleep longer the harder you hit it.
The police want to interview me. Strange, I didn`t even apply for a job.