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Before the internet I used to like people.
Before I wash my socks, I just throw one in the trash.
Remember way back when the only thing that was annoying on your feed were game requests?
Cranked the treadmill up to MAX for 15 minutes. When I finally took a break my roller skates were hot to the touch.
For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.
I commend any woman for going into labor outside a hospital setting. If I have to poop anywhere besides my own bathroom I go into panic mode
How do I tell a man he loves me?
loosing weight tip: turn your head to the left then to the right. Do this everytime you are offered food.
I think my new Stress Management plan is going to be alcoholism.
YOU ARE NOT THE BOSS OF ME is not a good thing to say to your boss.
I always wanted to buy a Parrot and teach it to say, "Help, they`ve turned me into a parrot!"
Ive been invited to farmville! Now what to wear...
My memory foam has amnesia
If your conspiracy theory doesn`t involve cats and dogs, don`t bother me.
It takes me like three days to wake up in the morning.