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The pill is the second best thing women can put in their mouths to prevent pregnancy.
My internet addiction is getting alt of ctl.
Not sure how coffee got its own table in the living room, but kudos.
Admit it, you should be doing something else really important right now but your on Facebook again.
Hey you know what will go good with all that beer you just drank? Social media and a camera phone!
I don`t understand why you guys complain about never being able to finish a tube of chapstick, it usually only takes me 2 or 3 bites.
I’m drinking while I work out…I call it Bacardio.
Cop: Been drinking tonight, ma`am? Me: No, I`m just dizzy b/c I`m having a heavy flow day. It`s really clotty and... Cop: You`re free to go.
Getting drunk and listening to loud music solves 87% of all life`s problems
It`s amazing how much us guys complain about women and then fully trust them with our pen!ses in their mouth.
I believe in sharing the road with other drivers. They can have the part behind me.
"I smell carrots. Do you smell carrots? `cause I smell carrots..." ~ Snowmen.
Do the right thing today: Go to someone`s profile, scroll down 4 months, and like something.
I`m more indecisive than a John in a brothel with gold credit card.
If your bf/gf tries to start a fight with you just say, "Please. Not during Toyotathon."