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Mazda’s marketing slogan is “We Build Mazdas.” They decided on it after rejecting others like: “Mazdas Are Cars” and “Buy Mazdas With Money”
Receptionist: "The doctor will see you now." Invisible Man: "Finally, a cure!"
I read that a banana a day will help keep your colon clean. I just wish they would’ve mentioned that you’re supposed to eat them.....
It`s never your successful friends posting the inspirational quotes.
Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to shop and where to spend it
when is humpty dumpty going to hatch?
Pretty considerate of germs to count all the way to five before jumping on the food we drop.
I am one of those people who presses every button in the elevator when I`m getting out =]
Anybody have plans to stare at their phone somewhere exciting this weekend?
I like my women like I like my motorcycles. Not ridden by all my friends.
Who needs Halloween decorations when I can just put up my selfies?
I need to start setting an alarm to go to bed.
The one thing you can always count on is your fingers.
Bands who can`t afford a smoke machine should hire my girlfriend to cook at their concert
I don’t just act crazy, I’ll drive you there too.