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I made a bucket list for when I kick the bucket. Number one: Wear shoes! Ever tried kicking a metal bucket without shoes? Hurt like hell.
something about today makes me want to be hungover tomorrow
Can`t wait `til I`m old enough to pretend I can`t hear.
A recent survey of one person revealed that 100% of me thinks that I should leave work early.
Happiness, is just a liquor store away.
When I was growing up the TV was my nanny.
Just used the holiday card with your kid`s face on it to scoop up a dog turd in the living room.
Quick Hide! Monday is Coming!!
I`m happy, but not "Oprah just told me to look under my chair" happy.
Never underestimate a girl’s ability to find things out.
This is odd?!?! The hour we lost this weekend was the one when I was planning to go to the gym.
This is not the status message you are looking for .... Move along
I don’t have a bucket list, but my f*cket list is a mile long.
My sex life is just like my typing skills. One handed.
Don`t worry about walking a mile in my shows. Try a day thinking in head.