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I always say, "morning." Instead of, "good morning." If it were a good morning, I would still be asleep in bed instead of talking to people.
Ha = I didn`t find that funny. Haha = That was funny. Hahahahaha = I want to sleep with you.
iPhone is really a terrible name considering how rarely I use it as a phone. That`s like if my bed was named iSex.
I just wanted you all to know that I’m leaving Facebook. This ride has been a blast and I’ve made a ton of friends who I really do consider friends in the truest sense. Your humor and wit is amazing. I’ll miss all of you, but I’ve decided I need to spend more time with my family. So... see you after breakfast
I hide from people too, so I get it bigfoot, I get it.
No need to thank me for accepting your friend request. We`ll both regret it soon enough.
Every fork at your favorite restaurant has been in 100`s of strangers` mouths
If I get an e-mail from you that says "Sent from my Blackberry" at the bottom, please understand that I`m not going to respond. I can only assume that you sent it in 2006.
Was wondering...when you have a mandatory meeting at work, why do the presenters always thank you for being there?
The girls who don’t get a rose on The Bachelor should automatically get a cat.
How do we not have lightsabers yet? Its like scientists aren´t even trying.
There`s been a whole lot of office Romance since I became self employed...
Boobs are to men what light bulbs are to moths.
Notice how writers don’t rewrite books, how about we stop remaking movies.
I got carded at the liquor store. While getting my ID out my Blockbuster card fell out. He laughed and said "Never mind."