Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Idk what was worse, the fact that my girlfriend text me saying “sorry breaking up with you” or that a minute later she text me back “sorry wrong number.”
So how long before GoFundMe is our nation`s leading health care provider?
I’ve had no formal martial arts training, but I know for a fact the Power Rangers are wasting too much energy on unnecessary summersaults
I wonder how police on bikes arrest people. “Alright, get in the basket”
I like when videogames limit how many things you can hold. "You have 100 items in an invisible bag. Carrying another would be unrealistic"
CNN needs to reevaluate the use of Breaking News. Perhaps "Latest Speculative News" or "We Really Don`t Know Shit" would work. CNN call me.
I just saved a ton of $ on Christmas presents by discussing politics on FB.
Apparently, 4 people die every year trying to put their pants on... - me, explaining to my (ex)boss why I went in with no pants
If you ever want to know what you look like to the world, don’t look in a mirror, have a child draw you.
You know what makes sex awesome? Actually having it.
If someone asks for advice, just tell em to follow their heart. No idea what that sh!t means but at least they`re not talking to you anymore.
With names like "Batman" and "Robin", you`d think they could fly...
I want to meet the guy whose complaint led to cashiers asking me if it`s okay if they put the receipt in my bag.
Why does McDonalds call it a drive thru when you have to drive AROUND the building?
I have learned from watching crime dramas on tv when the good guys yell "Federal Agents" at the bad guys, the bad guy always runs. Wouldn`t it be smarter to yell "Prize Patrol" if you really want to catch a bad guy?