Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I always like to keep a nice photo of myself for my Facebook profile pic because that is the picture that will be splashed all over the news when I finally go off the deep end.
I don`t have any "driving the speed limit" music.
It`s a good thing farting isn`t as contagious as yawning.
Just pour the coffee and back away slowly.
If you think the things I say out loud are bad, you should hear the things I keep to myself.
You are here: X
My sleep number is 151 ... Bacardi 151
Synonym: Word used in place of the one you can`t spell.
Went to my friends house with my girlfriend today. As we walked in I noticed her phone automatically connected to his wifi. That f*cking slut.
It`s kind of weird that beams of electricity strike down from the sky and we`re all just okay with it.
Lay-Z: My rapper name.
Instead of ‘gay friends’ can we say homiesexuals
If I laugh randomly when you are talking to me, don`t worry, the voices are telling me jokes.
OK. So I took the road less traveled. Now where the hell am I?
Our swear jar is always empty because of all the god damn foul mouthed thieves that live in this f*cking house.