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I find you`re total lack of ambition is inspiring.
I had the urge to clean my place today so I laid down until the urge went away.
I put on my pants like everyone else. Right after the security guard in Target says "Sir, we`re going to have to ask you to leave."
There should be an energy drink named 6 AM child
I got BOMBED last night and decided to do my own taxes and guess what! I`m getting 4 million dollars back this year!
Funerals are so depressing, when I die I want to be fed to a shark or something cool.
There may be no excuse for laziness, but I`m still looking.
Funny word combinations :Clearly misunderstood, Exact estimate, Small crowd, Act naturally, Found missing, Fully empty and above all ... Happily Married
Your secrets are safe with me because I zone out everytime you speak.
I would be a great procrastinator ... if I could ever get around to it.
I`m thinking about remodeling my bathroom and thanks to all your selfies I`m getting some great ideas!!.....
You know it`s been a good night when you wake up and see bite marks on the walls...
If Iām going to sweep all of my problems under the rug, then Iām going to need a bigger rug.
So who the hell ever buys the middle grade of gasoline?
I`d say go to hell, but I don`t want to see you again.