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therapy is expensive...vodka is not. need I say more....
Not sure what`s longer. A microwave minute or a treadmill minute.
It`s not so much blowing my diet as preventing the fudgesicles from developing freezer burn.
The most misinformed people think they know all the facts.
Just so we’re on the same page, I’m on 43.
Waking up an hour early gives you an extra hour to wish you were still in bed.
I’m “had to actually call a girl on the home phone to ask her out while hoping my mom didn’t pick up and start dialing” years old.
Note to self: Stop leaving notes to yourself, you never read them anyway...
If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is, "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is, "Probably because of something you did."
If everybody was consistently as determined as they are when they carry all groceries in one trip, this world would be in a better place.
Man, just think how crazy Gollum goes on the 5th day of Christmas.
F*ck you, regular cars that look like police cars. Also vice versa.
I was wondering why some couples don`t go to the gym together but I guess some relationships just don`t work out...
My life coach just informed me that I didnt make the team
Facebook ~ redefining "friendship" one booby pic at a time. ;)