Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Top uses for Golf Balls: 1. Describing hail storms 2. Describing tumors 3. Playing golf
Every time I use a public bathroom, I always wonder why so many people have Sharpies on them at all times.
I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.
I’m exhausted just thinking of everything I have to do.
It`s kill or be killed. Or eat a sandwich. Maybe go for a light jog. Draw a picture of a duck. There are a lot of options out there.
If I learned anything from my children, it`s that it is always OK to do something stupid, as long as someone DARED you to do it.
I`m too lazy to ever write a biography. Story of my life.
Im not fat I´m just easier to see
If only my goals were to be poor, lazy and out of shape.
Coffee eyedrops! Another million dollar idea.
If you give up smoking, drinking, and sex, you don’t live longer, just seems longer.
Karma means I can rest easy at night knowing all the people I treated badly had it coming.
The one thing you can always count on is your fingers.
Show some cleavage on bad hair days.
Thank god that racist basketball guy showed up or we`d still be talking about how we`re not finding that airplane.