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Whenever someone tells me they like country music, I just look them in the eyes and ask "which country?"
someone told me I am immature and need to grow up ... so guess who is not allowed in my snow fort!!!
My wife sure is picky for someone who married me.
Wouldn`t it be awesome if MTV had a show called "16 and Applying to Colleges"
When I was a kid, I really thought piranhas were going to be pretty much a daily concern.
This sushi restaurant has the worst service. "Sir, this is an aquarium"
Ugly is such an ugly word. If I must describe an ugly person I´d prefer to use the term "handsomely-challenged"
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
I know some of you would find it hard to believe, but I don`t say everything that pops into my head. I don`t think the average person could handle it.
is not rude...I just wasn`t taught to politely pretend to be nice to people I can`t stand.
I always assume anyone sitting alone in a car in the dark corner of a grocery store parking lot is waiting to meet a hitman who is running late.
Bananas are the strippers of the fruit world.
Thought I saw a kangaroo today but turned out to be a greyhound having a dump !
I really like this new reality show "Neighbor Without Drapes"
"I love you unconditionally*." -God *certain terms and conditions apply. See Bible for more details.