Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Are you free tonight, or will it cost me?
Men use love to get sex...women use sex to get love...I use coupons to get pizza!
Yes Grandma, I`m almost positive Arachnophobia is not the fear of people from Iraq
I am, have to avoid the leg cramps during sex, years old.
I love you in a bipolar way because I hate you.
Do you think people in Mexico ever say, "Those jobs keep stealing all our Mexic?ns!"
My favorite thing about naps is that I don`t have to talk to people during them
Must be nice to get married and finally know who the number one suspect in your murder case will be
My dentist said I grind at night. I was like, ok stalker.
I need a "previously on your life" recap for the things I didn`t pay attention to.
I hear there is scientific proof that birthdays are good for you... the more you have the longer you live.
mermaids swim by twerking do you ever just think about that
Alcohol does not make you fat. It makes you lean. Mostly against walls, tables, chairs, bars, floors & occasionally, weirdos ..
I`d divorce my wife but I never want to see her that happy!
Well another funny thing about this status is, by the time your done reading this, you realize it talks about absolutely nothing and you just wasted your time. Welcome to Facebook.