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I`m sick and tired of people telling me to turn off my lights to save the environment. I tried it once and I hit a cyclist....
I still know what you did last summer........... cos you posted it on facebook!
Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels. LOL. But on the up side, it is fun!! ;)
If life is a Bitch, then why hasn´t it made me a Sandwich?
thinks my life is becoming a very complicated drinking game.
You can learn a lot from a person especially when you watch them through high powered binoculars, I`m just saying.
How dare you incinerate that I don`t know big words.
Siblings – the only people who will pick on you and then kick the a$$es of anyone else who does it.
Let`s be honest. The only reason you listen to your voice-mail messages is to make the stupid icon disappear
According to this BMI chart ... I am to short.
Not to brag, but my antics at work resulted in several items being added to the employee manual.
Do you have neighbors?.. Do you have extension cords?..... Are you paying too much for electricity?
I have blank business cards I hand out and call them my “none of your business” cards.
Every so often, I try to fornicate a large word into conversation, even if I`m not sure what it means.
So apparently RSVP-ing to a wedding invite with "Maybe next time" wasn`t the best response. Who knew?