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Stovetop Directions: 1.) Use microwave.
The irony of social media is that the majority of users are all alone.
Ill be in my office giving co-workers the silent treatment ..by sending them blank emails.
The world would be a much nicer place if everyone took a chill pill. It would be even better if some of them choked on it.
It may not look like it, but I`m actually very handsome.
How can you tell if a smurf has the blues?
If it weren’t for physics and law enforcement, I’d be unstoppable.
“Hi I’m an evil ghost with the ability to defy time & space, but I think the best example of my powers will be to slightly close this door.”
What idiot called it Adderall instead of Accomplish Mints?
Dear Maytag: Why don`t your dryers have a Fold cycle? It`s 2018 for chrissake!
My mom says I`m special.
Meanwhile one million men got to enjoy a quiet afternoon at home without anyone nagging them.
Roses are red and sometimes they`re thorny, when I think of you, I get really ...............
The reason swans mate for life is because they don`t talk.
Sometimes I just bang my head on the keyboard and hope words form.