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To be truthful,,, I have never unrolled a sleeping bag and been able to roll it back up any smaller than the size of a garage.
When listening to skinny girls talk about losing weight it`s perfectly reasonable to battle cry then karate chop their tiny stomach`s.
If you’re getting dirty looks because your baby is crying loudly on a plane, start crying even louder and everyone will avoid eye contact
For Sale. Old batteries, free of charge.
These police take Hide and Seek really seriously.
The only thing worse than "the one who got away" is "the one who won`t go away."
You know what else looks like a ring and has lots of power over people? Donuts.
It`s not that I`m judging you, but you hung your toilet roll the wrong way and I just think it best if we never spoke again.
If your boyfriend answers your text while playing GTA, he doesn`t love you. He just died on the game.
Smile, it´s the second best thing you can do with your lips.
The pizza guy just said "see u tomorrow" ...
China has largest population not because the men are extra horny nor women are extra fertile but because... Their condoms are made in China.
Somethings are best unsaid but my brain to mouth filter has never worked right.
Long story short, I love summaries
People who learned a bunch of stuff must have felt pretty stupid when Wikipedia came out.