Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Most problems can be solved with nudity
I have to wonder why we have "non-essential" government employees in the first place.
Urban Dictionary has saved me from asking so many awkward questions.
If thought bubbles appeared magically above my head I would be so screwed!
Boobs are to men what laser pointers are to cats.
"I`m sorry" and "I apologise" mean the same thing...except when you`re at a funeral.
I just decorated my bedroom to look like my desk at work so I can fall sleep faster.
I hate when I put food in the microwave & it starts makin explosive noises so I check and it’s cold like why you gotta play me like that.
They say that alcohol kills slowly. So what! Who wants to be in a hurry?!?
It`s a small world, but I wouldn`t want to paint it.
Cats spend two thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.
I thought there was a spider on the rug, but it was just some yarn. It’s dead yarn now, though.
I love giving orders. My favorite is "Another one. And make it a double."
2015 and I still can`t believe it`s not butter!
Forget Klondike, you should see what I`d do for an open bar.