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Honestly, I have no idea what the f*ck I`ll do with 5 hours of energy.
So exhausting to have my life changed for the better every time someone posts a screenshot of a famous quote.
I`m so hungry I could Instagram a horse.
I`m not saying I have a questionable work ethic, but I just got called lazy by a guy wearing velcro shoes.
If at first you don`t succeed ... I just lie and say I did.
Are you always this stupid? or are you just making special effort today...
It’s almost 2015, I expect a toaster that pops the bread up in a less terrifying way.
Not having any friends means I`m always the pretty one.
Remember all those times I said "wow, that`s cool!"? What I really meant was, "shut the f*ck up, I hate you."
Wow, I haven`t seen you since the last time I wish I hadn`t seen you
Well h€ll, I was going to post a status about my p€cker, but it was too long.
Johnny : Pull my finger Tommy : No Johnny: "Come Bro Do IT!!" Tommy : fine ... Johnny : *SNEEZE IN THE FACE*
Behind every good selfie is approximately 47 nearly identical pictures that didn’t make the cut.
I don’t know why you put your boat in Sh!t Creek to begin with.
If your friends tell you not to give in to peer pressure and you don`t: technically, you did