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This Donut-Scented Car Air Freshener will more than pay for itself next time I get pulled over.
Live today like it`s your last!! But pay your bills and use a condom just in case it isn`t.
169 is still a sex position, but with a creepy guy watching.
the WORLDS shortest joke..... "2 women were sitting together quietly
Rapper; "I`m killing them snitches, smacking then bitches, smokin blunts and f*ckin hoes!" *wins award* Rapper: "I just wanna thank god.."
You`ve never been truly drunk until you`ve had to use a barstool as a walker to get home.
So the other day a girl asked me to Facebook her, needless to say she wasn`t to happy after I hit her in the face with a book
The only time my wife will ever scream "DEEPER, DEEPER" is when they are lowering my casket into the ground
Well it`s about time I get in line for that Star Wars movie
*Spoiler Alert*--- Siamese cats are just one cat ... not two cats in one.
I don`t lift so maybe I`m wrong about this, but I feel like Popeye might be focusing on his forearms too much.
I`ve been catfishing my best friend for the last 3 weeks. He`s gunna pay me that $50 he owes me or I`m showing these emails to his wife.
If I had to describe myself with one word it would be "Doesn`t understand directions".
Know your customer. Think like an idiot.
If Monday was a movie, it would be very long and boring.