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Dear guys: Women don`t want pictures of your d!ck. Maybe try sending a screenshot of your bank statement and see where things go.
The block button is just the adult version of sticking your fingers in your ears and repeating "I can`t hear you" over and over
Was building a website for women drivers ... Bloody thing kept crashing.
I`m at the age where I need at least 3 weeks advance notice before doing anything spontaneous
Apparently this Walmart cashier only brushes her favorite teeth.
Congratulations, U.S. Government, you are now officially more embarrassing than Miley Cyrus
Just bought me a medical alert bracelet that says... "probably just sh!tfaced"
Due to the weather, I was able to use the words "wet and slippery" at work all day without anyone thinking I`m a big perv.
This day is going downhill faster than a wagon full of fat kids!
For men who think.."A women`s place is in the kitchen," Just remember, that`s where the Knives are kept!
Dudes get one chest or arm tattoo and suddenly forget to wear shirts.
Still have my French Maid costume in case any of you have a dirty house. I`ll be happy to sit there and look sexy while your wife cleans....
“Star Wars” fans are very upset that the story line of the upcoming new “Star Wars” movie has been leaked. Apparently the movie starts with R2-D2, Chewbacca, and Han
May your neighbors respect you, troubles neglect you, angels protect you and heaven accept you.
My problem is, I`m about 30% stud, and 70% muffin.