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Why do baby clothes have pockets?
Have you hugged you bartender today.
I just did my budget for August. If I don`t buy food ... I won`t need toilet paper. I think I`m on to something here.
thinking men should come with a carfax....
"Karate" is an old Japanese word that means, "My kid can`t hit a baseball."
have you ever tried waking up in the morning? its horrible, the sun`s the wrong place and your head is so damn heavy.
I`m sorry baby, but me & you are not going to work out. We are going to watch tv.
m for Monday t for Tuesday wtf Wednesday Thursday Friday get it wtf
A communist joke isn`t funny unless everyone gets it.
Keep your friends close and your fat friends closer, because snacks.
All you need is WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn`t move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn`t, use the tape.
Thumbnail pics. Helping ugly people look hot until you click on them since 1995.
I bet heroin addicts can open a Capri sun on the first try.
You`re pretty cocky for someone with such a small ... vocabulary.
Sorry I drunk dialed you at 10am.