Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
People who can finish a shampoo bottle at the same time as their conditioner are truly ninja`s.
Three decades of playing Tetris have apparently not improved our nation`s ability to stow overhead luggage.
"And then I rented a monster truck and drove it through their f*cking house!" - How all my stories would end if I was a billionaire.
I`m in the awkward time period between not wanting to have pants on, and having to wait for the pizza guy right now...
I wonder if clouds ever look down on us and say "Hey look. That one is shaped like an idiot
Because of tanning beds, 1000 years from now archaeologists will think we used to fry people as punishment.
My wife complained that I never lifted a finger to help around the house. So I lifted a finger. Apparently, it was the wrong one.
When you consider names for your baby, it`s important to try out the middle name in an angry voice.
Men are like lottery tickets. Very exciting at first, until you scratch away the surface to reveal the loser beneath.
Never let the printer know that you are in a hurry.
I`m gonna surprise my hand with some sex tonight!
My 13yo just dumped his girlfriend and now he`s attempting to get his hoodie back. He`s in for one hell of a life lesson.
Can you do me a favour? Stand in front of my car, I need to test my brakes.
What makes fancy green beans fancy?
It’d be hilarious to release a gorilla in a gorilla suit at the mall and see the look on security’s face when they pull off the mask.