Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Today: I`m going to be understanding, productive, and nice. WHAT? Stop laughing! I`m serious!
Everybody says waking up at 5 in the morning to exercise makes you feel great but I think lying in bed for another 2 hours feels better.
I can`t even tell what this thing in my fridge use to be.
I may be crazy, but crazy is better than stupid.
Can`t find your children? Try turning off the wifi. They appear suddenly.
Why is it that most nudists are people you don`t want to see naked?
People complain about auto-correct but it is helpful 99% of the titties.
My grandma told me her joints are getting weaker, so I told her to roll them tighter.
I couldn`t be on a reality show because I wouldn`t want my mom to see how many times I make the jerk-off motion when we talk on the phone
Non alcoholic beer is like porn movie on a radio
Save water- shower with me!
Apparently, you shouldn’t ask your wife if she’s off her meds more than once a week…
Whatever you do in life, always give 100%...unless you`re donating blood...
So apparently, all you can eat buffets do not include the waitresses...
“Have you tried just eating a ton of pizza?”- me as a therapist