Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Don`t rush me, I`m waiting until the last minute.
Dear Customer Service: First of all, you should know that I`m typing this with my middle finger.
Saw a post stating "taking it one day at a time," so I responded "me too. That`s how days work."
When I see names carved into a tree I don’t think it’s cute, I just think its strange how many people take knives on a date.
I never sign anything until I pretend to read it first..
Don`t forget, If anyone asks we are a normal family.
What doesn`t kill you makes you have lots of hospital bills.
Plot twist: WebMD says you`re just thirsty
It turns out that 3 is the amount of times you can suck on your dentist`s finger before she stops believing that you`re doing it accidentally.
Man I wanna throw a book at someones face and be like "I Facebooked you!"
who`s smart idea wus it to name a monkey Donkey Kong??
If steroids are illegal for athletes shouldn`t photoshop be illegal for models?
Facebook should have an "I`ve seen enough" button.
There`s not much more gratifying than seeing a chick who thinks she`s super hot trip on her high heels.
Be nice to a nerd. Prevent a supervillain.