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Two interesting facts for you: 1) Some pine cones look like poop. 2) I`m never kicking anything wearing flip flops again.
Roses are red vilouts are blue your moms beautiful what happened to you!
Just checked my Farmville for the first time in 2 years... It`s now a Walmart.
Oh you`re in the shower? Here`s the seven worst songs from your playlist. - shuffle mode
It`s a little known made up fact of mine that 40% of the air inside a Taco Bell is just farts.
McDonald`s sponsoring the Olympics is like Jack Daniels sponsoring the prom.
Whenever I see people lined up outside a club on Friday night, I just think “look at all these poor people who don’t know Netflix exists.”
When fighting with a clown, always go for the juggler.
My leadership experience is pretty much limited to those three consecutive days in first grade when I was line leader.
Do these people in movies who wander off into the woods alone at night not watch movies?
I liked your facebook update, only so I can unlike it.
There`s a warning light on my dashboard of a vague exclamation point. It`s like when my girlfriend was mad at me and she wouldn`t say why.
How strict is the "I licked it, it`s mine" policy? There`s some things I`ve licked that I don`t want.
How much would you have to pay a teacher to flunk your kid so he has to go to Summer School? Just planning ahead...
Even hoarders throw their chapstick away if someone else uses it.