Daily Silly Status is your home to over 25,000 silly facebook statuses!

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1. As a kid, i was afraid of the dark. Now as an adult, I love the dark because I am terrified of the electrical bill.
   
2. I feel ready to face the world as a responsible adult now that I`ve taken today`s gummy vitamins.
   
3. You know it`s good advice, when your still confused afterwards.
   
4. It`s so cold outside I just saw a teenager with his pants pulled all the way up!
   
5. Somehow the talk went a little wrong with my 7 year old and now he`s convinced that birds have sex with bees and now he won`t eat honey.
   
6. Let me just flip this here omelette.... aaaaaand I`m having scrambled eggs
   
7. I made a salad with red wine vinaigrette only I left out the vinegar and the oil and ok it`s just lettuce with wine all over it. Anyhoo, I`m drunk.
   
8. Whenever I get a message that begins with “Hey Stranger” I know I’m about to be asked for a favor by someone I don’t want to help.
   
9. I`m afraid of a world run by adults who were never spanked as kids and got trophies just for participating.
   
10. Adult: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.
    
11. Good job on the speed traps, cops – How are the murderer traps coming along?
    
12. Sorry I ordered a salad and then ate all your fries.
    
13. A word to the wise ain`t necessary - it`s the stupid ones that need the advice.
    
14. If pulled over, immediately ask the officer if they`ve been drinking in order to establish dominance.
    
    
    
    
    
    

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