Daily Silly Status is your home to over 25,000 silly facebook statuses!

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1. When people ask me what I`m going to be on Halloween, the answer is always the same: really drunk
   
2. I love the way everyone who uses hand sanitizer looks like they`re hatching some kind of evil plan.
   
3. Why can`t I get service in my own home, but the god damn Taliban can upload videos from a cave in Afghanistan!?
   
4. I´ve always wondered if film directors wake up screaming "CUT! CUT! CUUUUUT!" when they have nightmares.
   
5. My personal fast food philosophy: If nobody knows you went to McDonald`s, you didn`t really go to McDonalds.
   
6. Friendship must be built on a solid foundation of alcohol, nudity, inappropriateness, and shenanigans.
   
7. If you don’t want to marry me, why did you sit next to me on this bus?
   
8. The only part I like about doing laundry is saying I`ve got a big load
   
9. snooze button, becuase all I need after 8 hours of sleep, is a nap
   
10. "I can`t believe it`s not clutter." ~ A recovering hoarder
    
11. We’re all mature until somebody brings out the bubble-wrap.
    
12. This guy at the gym just did four sets of selfies.
    
13. I think I may be getting harder to love.
    
14. If Wendy`s think their square burgers are so awesome, why don`t they use square buns?
    
    
    
    
    
    

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