Daily Silly Status is your home to over 25,000 silly facebook statuses!

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1. The only difference between the 13yr old me and the 28yr old me is that my kool-aid now contains vodka.
   
2. If there`s one thing that I`ve learned it`s, that I should have learned way more than one thing.
   
3. Note to Self: Next time I leave my wife a message that I`m in a threesome all afternoon, specify it`s golf.
   
4. Can someone else be a sex symbol today? ... My good T-shirt is still in the wash...
   
5. This is the earliest I have ever been late.
   
6. This prefessor`s nuts. He keeps saying pie is square. I know better, pies are round, cakes are square!
   
7. Figure it out people. It’s a 4-way stop sign not a woman.
   
8. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
   
9. My view on chocolate: God’s way of saying, “No hard feelings,” to those of us who aren’t getting any.
   
10. Okay kids don`t ever talk to strangers or take candy from strangers or go to stranger`s houses except on the day we worship the devil.
    
11. I always find the "easy-open tab" right after I finally manage to tear the package open with my teeth.
    
12. Another successful year no random father`s day cards in the mail!
    
13. When someone rings the doorbell, why do dogs always assume it’s for them?
    
14. I went to the store to buy some comdoms and the cashier asked me If I needed a bag ? "I replied No she`s not that ugly"
    
    
    
    
    
    

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