Daily Silly Status is your home to over 25,000 silly facebook statuses!

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1. I try to avoid picking up turtles on the side of the road. Just in case they are in the middle of a race.
   
2. In post apocalyptic movies everyone wears leather ... but there are no cows.
   
3. Today is the day I go back to the gym. Tomorrow is when I stop telling lies.
   
4. All my biological clock does, is let me know when it`s time to eat again
   
5. I`m on a pepperoni pizza cleanse.
   
6. Per Wikipedia, there are two kinds of scorpions. One can sting and kill you like a spider, the other can sing and rock you like a hurricane
   
7. No one in my family has ever actually used the Olive Garden gift card. We just keep passing it down from generation to generation.
   
8. May the bridges I burn light the path in front of me...
   
9. When do you take 5 hr energy? Right when I get off work ..12am!..beer here I come!
   
10. Never underestimate a woman’s ability to make anything your fault.
    
11. Thank god we don`t send messages with pigeons anymore. Where would I find 200 pigeons every day?
    
12. Think we could get the North Korean hackers to end "Keeping Up With The Kardashians"?
    
13. You`re always ahead of schedule when it comes to disappointing me.
    
14. If you have to tell us that you`ve been going to the gym, you probably need to go more often....
    
    
    
    
    
    

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