Daily Silly Status is your home to over 25,000 silly facebook statuses!

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1. For Valentine`s Day my wife wanted to.... well, you know. It started with her handcuffing me to the bed. And for three solid hours she watched whatever she wanted on television
   
2. What flavor is this Harlem Shake you speak of?
   
3. Trying to figure out why I joined the gym when I have Photoshop.
   
4. Somedays I feel like running away. Then I remember how much I hate running.
   
5. I hate wasting alcohol on social occasions.
   
6. Shout out to weathermen telling us the barometric pressure like we know what the hell to do with that information.
   
7. It`s funny how you think it`s your cat leaving all those dead birds on your doorstep.
   
8. That awkward moment when a comment gets more “likes” than your status.
   
9. Most women desire someone who makes them laugh and also feel safe, so basically a clown ninja.
   
10. I can`t wait to find my soul mate so I can start sleeping on the couch.
    
11. My decision making skills closely resemble that of a squirrel when crossing the street.
    
12. Whoever said time heals all wounds never had their leg bitten off by a shark.
    
13. It’s not drinking alone if the dogs are home, right?
    
14. I wonder if Brazil has a wax museum?
    
    
    
    
    
    

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