Daily Silly Status is your home to over 25,000 silly facebook statuses!

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1. FUN THING TO WRITE ON A POST CARD: "Weather is great, having tons of fun! Are you still planning to murder your mailman?"
   
2. I drink my coffee out of a clear mug so people so where my tolerance level is at.
   
3. I hate when its dark and my brain is like “Hey you know what we haven’t thought of in a while?” Monsters.
   
4. I am not the same person at 8am and 8pm.
   
5. Gonna start a new job tomorow at a archaelogical site, I know I`m gonna dig it.
   
6. Being a vegetarian is hard at first but after a month or so you get used to telling everyone you`re a vegetarian.
   
7. I walked into SeaWorld with a fishing pole once. I gotta tell ya, those security guards can really run.
   
8. I was gonna call you... but I`m still sober.
   
9. The guy who named the "chimichanga" should be given more authority to name things.
   
10. I will stop loving you, when Spongebob gets his driving license.
    
11. Nothing says "I love you" like my cat aggressively bathing itself immediately after I pet her.
    
12. This guy at the gym just did four sets of selfies.
    
13. Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.
    
14. I saw my ex getting beaten up by half a dozen thugs. For a second, I thought, "Should I help?" Then I thought, "No...6 should be enough."
    
    
    
    
    
    

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