Daily Silly Status is your home to over 25,000 silly facebook statuses!

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1. Some call it alcoholism, I call it "keeping my emotions hydrated"
   
2. If I could choose any one mythological creature to become alive & real, I`d have to pick…My girlfriend.
   
3. We live in a world in where it is easier to get out of a marriage than a mobile-phone contract
   
4. It`s all fun and games until you find out she`s a psychotic bitch...
   
5. Perhaps we should hold elections on the last Friday of November, with polling stations at Walmart, Target and Apple
   
6. Technically, I don`t have to do anything until my wife wakes up and realizes I`m not doing anything.
   
7. It’s not that I don’t want kids, it’s just that I don’t want a minivan.
   
8. If it wasn’t for profanity, I wouldn’t be a pro at anything.
   
9. So last night I put a whopee cushion on moms chair, waited and finally heard it go off.. I walk in with a massive smile on my face to find out that she hadn`t even sat on it yet.
   
10. In case I drink too much and pass out for a while, Happy New Year you guys.
    
11. Does shaking the vending machine count as working ...
    
12. The fastest way to find out if your wife is just pretending to be asleep to avoid sex is to pick up her phone and start scrolling.
    
13. In Canada, she`s Kilometery Cyrus.
    
14. Sometimes, half your sh!t is worth it.
    
    
    
    
    
    

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